"I'm glad I'm here now." I often hear this sentence from singing students who are in my studio for the first time. Many of my trial students are driven by a deep inner desire to sing, but lack the courage.
When they have finally taken the first step, they are delighted and blossom. Why is it so difficult for many people to start singing? And what can help?
Fear of evaluation
When singing beginners start talking, one thing keeps coming back: the fear of being judged. They fear that their voice will sound strange to others and that they will be criticised or laughed at as a result. And yet this is nothing real, but - what? A kind of anticipated shame? Head cinema, so overpowering that many don't even begin to explore their own vocal potential. They give up before they have even started.
What is behind this? When I enquire, I often hear: "As a child, I was told that I wasn't good at singing", or: "I was singled out in music lessons." Even a single negative judgement can have a devastating and lasting effect. This also includes judgements such as: "You have no talent" or "You are unmusical". Studies show: Anyone who has been labelled in this way at an early age is more likely to doubt their musical abilities later on - and to stop trying to sing altogether.
Many people don't even realise the injustice inherent in this form of assessment. If a child has difficulties with reading or writing, we don't usually say: "You don't have the talent for it, don't do it!" Instead, we support the child and show them how to do it. When it comes to singing, on the other hand, there is a social tendency to judge. Yes, singing requires hitting notes and being able to follow melodies, but that can be learnt - especially as a child.
When I advise parents who want to book singing lessons for their children, I recommend children's choirs. These offer a pleasant, playful atmosphere in which children can learn to sing in a carefree way. Many big stars started their singing careers in church communities where they sang together.
Fixed Mindset
If these positive experiences are missing, it becomes difficult later on. For many people, the early negative judgements have become fixed beliefs over the years. They believe that they have no singing talent, once and for all. It is clear that it is then pointless to work on your own singing skills, despite all your enthusiasm. In psychology, this attitude is known as a "fixed mindset". It prevents people from daring to try something new, from trying things out - and also from developing themselves further.
A little self-check: Have you often done this, reflexively adding a comment after singing a melody, such as "that wasn't good" or "I can't do that" - as if you wanted to pre-empt the listener's criticism? If so, and you realise that this is a pattern with you, then you are stuck in this "fixed mindset".
Tip: Make mistakes
But there is good news: you can get out of it yourself. Some of the biggest stars, such as Ed Sheeran and Adele, have shown us how. Admittedly, it's rarely one big liberating blow. But it starts with a change in your attitude.
Adele, for example, needed a lot of time to realise how important it is to acknowledge and approve of your own mistakes and imperfections. "Making mistakes", "being imperfect" not as a fear factor, but as something good, something to be welcomed? For many, this is a complete reversal of their way of thinking, which is always focussed on completion and perfection.
This reversal of attitude towards one's own mistakes and shortcomings has a huge advantage over the error-hostile attitude of caution, security and perfectionism. It removes the biggest barrier in the mind that blocks access to a "path of personal growth". In other words, a positive attitude towards making mistakes is a "growth mindset" that frees you from the paralysing fixation on your own limitations.
Ideals and comparisons
Another reason why many people are afraid to start singing is the pressure to conform to a certain ideal. They often believe that they are not good enough or that their own voice cannot keep up with the beautiful voices they hear from stars.
These comparisons lead to gifted singers not even discovering and developing their own talent. The result: because they don't sing, they can't develop the muscles needed for singing and can't train their hearing. The result is a vicious circle: without practice, there is no vocal progress, the voice atrophies and the beginning becomes increasingly difficult.
Tip: learn from the "unfinished" stars
Take a closer look at the stars who epitomise your standard for good singing. This time, however, don't look at the already "finished" stars, but at how they were at the beginning, still "unfinished", as beginners. It is not only entertaining, but can also be instructive to learn how the later stars dealt with their vocal shortcomings or their rookie mistakes. With a little detective work, you can find out on the internet what helped your role models take their first steps on stage.
Singing together
Taking your own first steps will be easier if you take them together with others. In a Choir you will meet other singing enthusiasts who support and encourage each other while singing. This is a low-threshold introduction to singing that offers several advantages:
You sing without your voice coming to the fore (as in a solo). You will also learn your first vocal exercises while singing together. Above all, however, you will find yourself in a good choir, which is beneficial and healing for many people who struggle with inhibitions: You sing in an atmosphere of mutual appreciation.
When you take the songs and exercises home with you, you also take this positive atmosphere with you. Create your own supportive environmentfrom whom you receive positive feedback. You could form a small singing ensemble by approaching others with whom you enjoy singing. Or you could go to an open-stage or karaoke evening and get into dialogue with amateur singers or musicians who are just starting out, just like you.
In January 2025, the Neue Zürcher Zeitung published a Article in which a pupil of mine writes about her initial difficulties with singing, her dry spells - and her breakthrough.
You can find exercises to build up your voice in my online courses. Take a look at the courses I offer: https://singasong-behappy.de/online-gesangsunterricht/
